Starting My Journey to Become a Single Mom By Choice
Are you trying to decide if you are ready to take the next step in your journey of becoming a Single-Mom-By-Choice?Β
Maybe you want to hear more about my experience to help you make that decision.Β
Maybe you just want some more information from someone whoβs made that leap.Β
Maybe you just stumbled upon my blog by accident and figured βWhat the hell, I have a few minutes to spare while the barista makes my coffeeβ.
Whatever the reason, I hope you find what youβre looking for.Β
Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. The information in this post is for informational purposes and does not constitute medical advice in any way. I am not liable for any damages resulting from using the information in this article. Please consult a doctor for your medical advice.
If youβd like to learn more about what led me to start this journey, you can read my blog postΒ Single-Mom-By-Choice: How I Embraced the βChoiceβ.Β Now, letβs jump in.
My First Lesson: The Virtual Seminar
Attending this seminar brought up a mix of emotions. I was excited for my journey to begin. It truly felt like this was the first real step to becoming a mom.Β
I was nervous. I had so many questions swimming around in my brain.Β
Am I really ready to take this next step? What if I hear something that totally obliterates my hopes of this working? Will this be something I can afford?Β
The seminar was around 40ish minutes and they sure did pack in the info.Β
My suggestion if you plan on attending one of these: take notes. They typically send you a recording via email as long as you join, but youβll have questions. Make note of them.Β
You donβt want to get caught with your metaphorical pants down when you have your first appointment and your mind goes blank when they ask you if you have any questions.Β
(Download my FREE digital download template for Organizing Your Fertility Journey that includes documents to track your appointment notes, fertility notes, a financial planner, journal page, and more!)
They went through all the family-building options that come along with working with a fertility specialist.Β
- Β – Intrauterine Insemination (IUI)
- Β – Invitro Fertilization (IVF)
- Β – Egg Donor
- Β – Gestational Carrier
- Β – Fertility Preservation
- Β – SurrogacyΒ
and other intimidating fertility terms. (Check out this article from WebMD, which has a glossary that pretty much covers every fertility term).
Now, before you start feeling overwhelmed, take a breath. It is a lot of information, but theyβre just covering all the bases. Itβs not an βapply allβ situation.Β
Your fertility specialist will guide you along your fertility journey based on whatβs best for you.
The Financial Side
Another thing that I loved about this clinic is they also held a seminar on the financial side. They hit on all the biggies:
- – What insurance may or may not cover
- – How to confirm with your insurance company on whatβs covered
- – What the out-of-pocket looks like if you donβt have insurance
- – Financial assistance options
Maybe you donβt have health insurance or want a good idea of the out-of-pocket financial breakdown in case your insurance doesnβt cover certain procedures. Your fertility specialist should provide you with all of this financial information.
Meeting The Fertility SpecialistΒ
I did it. I made that seminar my bitch. Ok, maybe thatβs a little too strong of a take on the situation, but I did just take my first real step towards becoming a mom.Β
After being empowered with all that new information and that amazing feeling of accomplishment coursing through my veins, I couldnβt wait to kick things into high gear.Β
I logged in early for my virtual meeting with the fertility specialist. I was amped up and impatient. It started to feel like I was waiting in an actual patient room.
After what seemed like forever, but was something like 6 minutes, the doctor appeared on the screen.Β
A quick hello and then she jumped right in, asking me about myself and my fertility goals. She brought me through my options and was very patient in answering all of my questions.Β
Remember to make your list of questions before meeting with the fertility specialist.Β
Chances are more will come up during your appointment. If youβre anything like me, and get easily overwhelmed by all the information, you wonβt be able to remember what you had for breakfast that morning, let alone what your questions were.Β
Write them down!
She sent me a list of my next steps and a packet of information on everything that would be involved, including:Β
- – Educational information on procedures
- – Supplement and Vitamin Guides
- – The Financial Breakdown
- – Resources for Support
It was a thick packet, but I was grateful for it. It was a wealth of fertility knowledge.
I think itβs normal to feel overwhelmed when it comes to making this decision. A lot goes into it, but I think the more information you have, the more prepared and confident you will feel.Β
And I know that information itself can feel overwhelming, but my best advice is to just take it one step at a time.Β
Break up the information into different categories to help you stay organized physically and mentally.Β
(Here is my FREE digital download template for Organizing Your Fertility Journey that includes documents to track your appointment notes, fertility notes, a financial planner, journal page, and more!)
What The Doctor Ordered
The recommended next steps for my journey involvedΒ
- A preconception screening of my bloodwork to check:
- – My blood type
- – Antibodies
- – Current STD situation
- – CMC
The whole gauntlet. They did a baseline ultrasound to make sure my uterus was clear of any major obstructions and a genetic carrier test, which lets you know if you have any genetic skeletons in the closet.Β
Learn more about these genetic carrier tests and why they are so important to this process in my blog post How To Choose The Sperm Donor.
I was very fortunate that nothing big came back in my test results. No major medical obstacles. Yay!Β But I was overweight and it was suggested that I try to drop about 10 lbs to get me in a little healthier position for conceiving. I was about 50-60lbs overweight.
The IUI procedure was the fertility treatment recommended based on my initial results. Not to get too graphic, but essentially this involves the donor specimen being inserted into your vagina, up through your uterus, and released near your fallopian tubes using a syringe with a long piece of tubing attached to it.Β
Party time! Am I right? Hey, itβs the less expensive and less complicated fertility option. I was sold.
Here is an article by the American Pregnancy Association that tells you all about this specific fertility option, so you can learn more about whether this is a potential fertility option for you. Your fertility specialist will be the authority on this though.
I begrudgingly asked the specialist about the success rate of this procedure. She answered quickly, but cautiously, being careful where she metaphorically stepped to not provide any false hope.Β
She said someone like me with no red flags showing up on my initial testing, will usually have a successful conception in the first three rounds of IUI. That is, if there arenβt any underlying issues.Β
She continued by letting me know that she would be comfortable trying up to 6 rounds, but after 3, IVF should be considered, along with additional testing.
She closed out strong by assigning me my next step, (cue suspense music) dun, dun, duuun!β¦I needed to find a donor!
You probably have questions starting to brew about the donor process. Donβt worry. Thatβs a completely normal reaction. After all, I just brought it up.Β
In my next blog post, I will share my experience of How To Choose The Sperm Donor.Β
Cheers, Warriors
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I hope you enjoyed reading this post and found it entertaining, educational, inspiring. Hopefully, all three. Please be sure to leave any comments or questions you have in the Comments section below.Β
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